On a serious note

I'm sitting here with a slight thumping in my head. It sucks feeling this way on a Saturday afternoon, knowing that there is a long to-do list to tackle. Looking through my older posts, I start to really miss secondary school. Sure, there were stressful times, but those are nothing compared to the things that we face in college. Assignments and tests seem to never stop (and you thought that back in secondary school, the ujian ringkas seemed continuous). Projects and presentations pop up everywhere (and you thought that kerja kursus was a hassle). Your organizer fills up with test and exam dates. And when you schedule outings, two things pop into your mind first: money and time. Oh, and the catch is this: When you work, you start missing your college days. Ah, what a cycle.

Yeah, so now I begin to understand the feeling of growing up. July is approaching, which means that I am now in my last couple of months as an 18-year-old. So what's so special about being 18? Nothing. When I was 12, I couldn't envision myself being 17. When I was 15, I thought being 18 is special. When I was 17, I thought being 19 is scary because it means that I'm stepping into the third decade of my life. Now that I'm 18 and approaching 19, I don't know what to think anymore. Every day flies by so fast now that things seem to blur into one.

Did I envision this to be how I'd feel at 18? I don't think so. Is it because I changed? I think so. I think this has something to do with a conflict of interests and values.

6 more weeks to this semester and then I'll be back in my own room, cocooned under my warm comforter and surrounded by the mess that I make with all the story books. Sigh. I can't believe how sad I feel when I read Kenny Sia's blog post about the trees along the road to the airport being cut down. My hometown is evolving so fast that every time I go back, there's always something new. And I go back every three to four months, so that equals to a lot of changes. In fact, I haven't even gotten accustomed to tHe Spring. I still don't know exactly where which store is.

Sigh.

I guess sometimes we all miss our roots.