Blank pages

Sometimes some things are better left unspoken. But maybe they're to be written for remembrance, if not for anything else.

Learning list

Things I learned this week:

1. I'm really crabby when I'm under pressure. So crabby that even I can't stand myself.
2. Chocolate doesn't really do wonders for me when I need more endorphins. (Perhaps chips work better? After all, I do love crunchy food.)
3. There is an inner perfectionist inside of me.
4. I worry about little things that people tell me.
5. I am a sounding board to many people. (This sometimes puts me in a tight spot, but I try my best.)
6. A concerned friend does wonders.
7. I am capable of curbing impulsive buying, even if it means forgoing everything I feel like trying on.
8. Always bring an umbrella out to school.
9. Extra time spent reading and writing makes me feel really happy. (I've always known this; it just got lost somewhere along the way.)
10. I don't think I can write a love letter.

All the techie stuff...

My Facebook page is telling me to 'Say hello' to a friend I hadn't connected with for a while. You know, I should've seen this day coming - this day when my Facebook page tells me what to do. Really. This reminds me of our Psychology lecturer telling us to read 1984, which I can't even find anywhere here.

Anyway, I finally managed to convert a video I recorded with my phone so that it can be played on the computer. The formatting irritated me because I couldn't find the right conversion tool, but it's all okay now, so I can finally store all the videos I took with my phone and watch them on the computer. Catching up with technology can be quite a hassle sometimes, huh?

Speaking of videos, since I don't feel like going into a lot in my blog, what if I just take a video and post it up? Orrrrrrrr... maybe not. I might. Or not. :P

By the way, HELLO EVERYBODY, I MISS YOU!

Yawn

As you can see, I've gone totally unenthusiastic about posting. I can feel my linguistic skills slowly going to sleep. See, that's what I mean. I can't even find a nice way to put that. WHAT I MEAN IS I should really kick start my university application essays and tell myself to get back into my normal incessantly OCD proofreading mode.

I need some intellectual stimulation! I can't let the holidays suck my brain juices out like those brain-hungry zombies in Plants vs Zombies (I DO NOT play this anymore, thank you very much!). I hate that sometimes I get a funny feeling when I pick up a pencil or pen to write something down and I go, "Oh, hand, have you forgotten this familiar feeling?". (The latter part of the feeling isn't literal.)

Yeah, I've got things to do. Things like writing essays, redoing the color on two of my fingers (thanks a lot, post-paint smudges and dents), cleaning up after the pets, resuming my typing work, mastering a new piece on the piano, reading something worthwhile... So why do I feel like just sitting here, stuffing my brain with more mainstream music, some of which I don't even like?

Rawr

Oh, lookie. It's almost 1 am and I'm still awake when I'm supposed to collect sleeping hours when I can. Facebook = cute guys = stalker alert = a lot of time wasted. Go figure. :P Yeah, I know, what am I doing checking guys out on Facebook when I'm supposed to finish packing up? (I need a real good cuci mata session, though. Sigh.)

Oh yeah, I'm going on a short trip. :D

Why didn't I talk to this guy when I had the chance to? Missed opportunity yo. Whatever possessed him to add me on Facebook, I don't know. All I remember is that he was in one of my groups during... okay, no further information will be disclosed. :P (Pssssst, Ding...)

Whoops. Karyn just reminded me to pack my toiletries. ZZZ. How could I forget those? Aiyo!

Have a good weak ahead, everyone! :)

Doinkkkk

I woke up at the uncharacteristically early time of 8.00 am today. (Actually, I think it's slowly becoming normal for me. *gasp* Nah, rest assured I'll revert back to my sleep-really-late and wake-up-really-late pattern once the holidays begin... Hehehe!) And all I've been doing all morning, afternoon, evening, and night is study, eat, chill to some music, study, daydream, study, run through my music playlist again, study, eat, study, place head on desk, study, daydream, and the list goes on pretty much the same way if you notice the sequence.

I've been writing and balancing chemical equations, pressing my calculator, and scribbling in my finally-handy science practical book. And now, when I read the Chemistry textbook, my speed of processing seems to have gone down a lot. Even the half-equations get me staring blankly at the page. And don't even get me started on how discombobulating the cell potentials are to me at this moment. And did I mention how two and a quarter chapters of acid-base reactions can make me remember how I once used to skip Chapter 8 of Form 5 Chemistry - Salts because it was so confusing?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Okay. I need to take a breather. I can't even spell properly now. I keep making silly spelling errors, which, if you know how anal I am about it, is frustrating to me. And to think that I need to utilize the other side of my brain for Music! *sigh*

Should I play Poker on Messenger, read through my Music notes, take a short nap, or just zone out for a bit?

Considering my options, number one will probably just get me stuck to the chair for the next hour or so, only to realize after then that I'd already wasted 4.17% of my day. Number two might cause me to doze off especially if I read on the bed. But it can also stop my obsession with completing the Chemistry questions in the book and give my calculator a rest. Number three might cause me to just sleep through the whole night, so I'll scrape that (short naps and I just don't go together). Number four sounds really good right now. But then again I might end up spacing out to some really emotional James Blunt and Keith Urban songs, effectively causing myself to be all sappy, thus potentially causing me to waste approximately 8.33% of my day.

Mmmmm. I'll lay my head on this very cluttered and seemingly not big enough desk (I still remember how I thought that this desk is HUGE compared to the one I got in McNair - well, it is quite big in comparison - but a bigger desk also means more clutter in my case) and mull over my options. Hopefully I don't fall asleep before I make up my mind.

...

FINE. Option 2 it is. Pray there won't be "doink doink" sounds coming out from now on.

PS: "Doink doink" is the almost onomatopoeic (WOAH COOL WORD - sorry, that was my inner child who was too excited about SAT-like words) sound of the stuff that's bouncing off my head as I'm reading them. (But then again, it's a personified sound, so that cool word is disqualified. *crestfallen look*)

PPS: YES, YES, I'M GOING TO READ MY NOTES NOW.

:(

It's 12.30 am and I have a headache that has been coming and going for half a day. It switches from mild to bad pretty quickly. I tried sleeping it off but it didn't work. Now here I am, after popping a pill, wondering why it started in the first place. It's irritating me because it distracts me from the work that I'm supposed to be doing. :(

It is during times like this that I wish I have someone around to pamper me with hot chicken soup (I remember reading somewhere about why it really is good for sick people) and a hug. :(

I want a hug. :(

:(

Even LOLcats aren't helping me much now. John Mayer helps a bit. But still. Maybe I should just go sleep.

Real food and ear food

I unintentionally skipped lunch today. I had a large meal at 4 pm to make up for the no-lunch suffering. And then I was too full to take dinner at my normal time of either 6 pm or 7 pm. So now I might have to make up for it by having some red beans buns, hot Milo, and umm.. some Twisties. Such an unhealthy diet, I know. But I didn't mean to skip lunch! (I don't look like someone who crash diets, do I? Duh.) My lunchtime was taken up by a university briefing.

This couple of weeks have definitely been occupied by a lot of university stuff. Which university to apply to, what are the requirements, what courses must we take, what other majors or minors can we take, which professional papers do the universities prepare us for, what is the campus environment like... The questions just never seem to end. Every university representative I meet (regardless of whether the university offers my intended major) gets the same questions from me. Aiyo. I'm getting kinda bored parroting the same questions. But this is a necessary step in my decision-making, whether or not there is someone pushing me from behind, stage-whispering, "Ask something la!"

Here's something completely unrelated. I've been listening to a lot of John Mayer, Marie Digby, and The Fray these days. And I looooove Kelly Rowland and David Guetta's When Love Takes Over. *insert rockin' emoticon*

Okay, back to what I'm supposed to do. Chemistry time!

Short

You can just tell that I'm kinda lazy to write a proper update. I already have a couple of ideas that I've been toying around with lately. I'll get to them soon (read: when I can gear up and move into a more motivated phase).

If you don't already know, I've completely shifted into my full holiday mode that consists of me pigging out and consuming tv like nobody's business. It's sinful, really. But it's so, so enjoyable. XD

For the past few days and couple of weeks to come, more people have been and will be flying off to the States. In May, I was utterly devastated when denied the opportunity to enter university as a freshman despite having been offered admission. Oh, you know what, the irony is that I completely forgot to ask my parents for the real offer letter. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow. Anyway, thinking back, yes, that was a very difficult heartbreak to deal with, but now that I consider what I've done since then and the options that lay ahead of me, I think it happened for the better. Back then, I was really, really angry and upset. Don't even ask me how many times I cried and wallowed in anger because I lost track of all that, honestly. Now that I think of it, that month only comes second to my post-operation month in terms of depression. But you know what, maybe there is a silver lining after all. :)

I'll be back with a packed update. (You would have a vague idea of what I've been up to if you caught my Facebook status updates and tweets.)

Note

If you see me flailing my hands around with a frown on my face, fret not, for there is only so much cooping up and mugging one can take, I think. The final exams are starting tomorrow, and the feeling of anticipation has not changed much even though I am already in my third semester. At least this time around, though, I try not to drive myself like a slave. Instead, I take more breathers. I keep the room well ventilated by opening up the windows (which I almost never do because I like my room to be cool) and letting some sunlight in. It feels kinda good actually. :) Also, I've been sleeping more than I usually would before exams to keep a clear head.

So, yes, the pre-exam jitters are still there, but I'll be fine. We all go through that, don't we? I can't wait for this week to be over so that I can pack my luggage and say goodbye to this place for three weeks. I think a relaxing time is very much called for at this point, after all the mugging and stressing. Ah, the sense of longing.

6 more days to home! :D

Velocity

I've been very busy, pulling late nights and squeezing in mugging time whenever I can. Final exams are in 6 days and I have a million things on my mind right now, zooming by the pitstop I call 'The Thinking Pit' at speeds much, much higher than I can catch up with. So, here I am, standing at the pitstop, flailing my arms around, shouting, "STOP! I NEED YOU TO STOP!" but alas, my efforts are futile because they just keep flying by. Yes, that means that the clock is ticking.

Rainy day

It's been dreary and downcast all day today. Add onto that the fact that I have no classes today, you get a very lazy me. I woke up way past my normal waking up time on weekdays... and still napped for an hour in the afternoon.

Oh, help me stop all this slothfulness. I should really be mugging for the Accounting test this Thursday. Meh. Wednesdays and Thursdays are always taken up by tests. On one hand, this will be the last minor test for the semester. On the other hand, this means that we have less than 2 weeks to final exams. O.O

Okay, that just helped me snap back to reality.

Looking out at the vast expanse

To get into the field or to stay in the bleachers' zone?

Why now? Or... why not now?

An eggpisode

I wanted to make hard-boiled eggs for breakfast... and I ended up with half-boiled eggs. And there I was, thinking that one cannot go wrong with one big electrical kettle and two eggs. Apparently, one can.

It's sad to admit this, but that year-end list definitely has to include acquiring some more common sense and practical skills when it comes to household stuff because it ain't no rocket science, but I'm such a noob at it. (Thank goodness I was taught how to wash, iron, and fold clothes, sweep and mop the floor, etc, though - I'm not that hopeless after all! Joy.)

32 more days to home. :)

Sizzling hot

I don't know how everyone else feels here but KUCHING IS SO HOT! It's way hotter here than it was in Meru or even Nilai. GAHHHHHHH! *sweats profusely*

On a sweet note, my wonderful parents installed an air-conditioning unit in my bedroom just before I got home the other day. YEAY! *wiggles hands to indicate elation*

You've finally let me feel that peace of mind I've been missing. Thank you.

I'm so tired I can't think of a title lah

I am so tireddddddddddddd. My mind has been solving maths equations almost all day long today (ok, so technically it's yesterday now). In Econs class, it was all I could do not to wander off into that inviting land of shut-eye. :X

On the bright side, I had a wonderful weekend. :D There's so much I wanna say but I'm exhausted now. Gah, I need some sleep. It's painful how bad I am at staying awake and alert with minimal sleep these days. :/ It's like my body clock has tuned itself back into its proper pattern, which means no more pulling all-nighters and stressing out over midnight. Bleh. Ok, stories and photos another day.

For now, here's an excerpt from a conversation that is going on as I type:

Crystal says:
woman!!!!!
Sher Minn: out to grab lok lok and kopi says:
woman?
Crystal says:
man!
Sher Minn says:
animal!
Crystal says:
binatang! buassss
Sher Minn says:
haiwan peliharaan! tikus belandaaaa
Crystal says:
kenapa tikus!
ikan emas
anjing kurap
kucing
Sher Minn says:
crystal
lagi bagus kan
Crystal says:
what?
Sher Minn says:

:P

Time to sleep!

Have a good week ahead. :)

Yo-yo

How was my Accounting mid-term paper? It was ok.

How do I feel? A bit on the eh side, although we just celebrated two birthdays this evening.

I'm on the eh side for just a bit. I'll bounce back.

Some jaw relaxation

Priceless bit in a conversation outside my room:

WY: Does anyone know where the AV Room is? Enlighten me.

YY: Huh? Whose car?

WY, Wendy, me: O.o?! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Ahhh. Good thing WY and I don't keep track of her clueless moments anymore. :P

I'm still up, flipping through my Accounting textbook in preparation for the test today, which I still have not decided to take at either 2 or 4 pm. Ah, details.

Juggling act

Waking up this morning, I was happy because I managed to clock in exactly 10 hours of sleep. I was still happy when I was about to have my breakfast. And then I decided to check my e-mail. I saw a new e-mail in my formal account and thought that it was from the church or one of the universities, but it turned out to be an e-mail informing me that I have been given the task to find out how the school's student council works. To do that, I'd have to interview some exco members and whip up a decent article. All that in 5 days. Good news? I don't know any exco members. Wheeee.

Here come networking sessions - in between juggling my heavy Econs textbook and keeping a constant watch on my to-do list which is growing longer despite all my efforts to cross the tasks out one by one.

Lunch in half an hour and I have to start planning. So much for a relaxing day.

Yearning

I miss all of you so much.