Words

I've always loved words. Do you know how beautiful they can be when strung together? Do you know how melodious they sound when they are arranged in just the right way? But, as I grow up, I learn how painful words can be as well.

With time, I find myself facing bigger obstacles that require more thought and effort, which often includes careful treading, especially where words are concerned. Not too long ago, I discovered how words can leave an impact bigger than we can imagine. Because when those few words were spoken to me, a sense of disbelief bubbled inside of me. That feeling grew into annoyance, which developed into anger, and then, finally, into a stubborn sense of resolution. Was the path right? I don't know, but that was what happened. What was I supposed to make out of the words that were said? I was already hurting then and those words didn't help ease the growing frustration. In fact, coming from someone whom I respect, they stung.

Sometimes, we find ourselves at a loss for words. There are times when we just don't know what to say. Maybe it's because we don't know what is appropriate. Maybe it's because we don't know if our opinions are acceptable. Whatever the reason, sometimes we just get tongue-tied. Whenever I feel tongue-tied, many words fly into my head, but nothing comes out. I hate being unable to articulate my thoughts appropriately, but it happens every once in a while.

There are just some times when words aren't needed. Like when we are sitting across each other in silence, feeling at ease with each other. Sometimes I feel like I need more of these moments because I've been listening and talking so much. Sometimes I miss the comfortable silence. Or maybe I just miss home.

(And looking at photos of kolo mee on Facebook isn't helping either. I shall resist looking at the kueh chap photo in my phone. Pas pas...)