33 days

I'd just come to realize the fact that I've been here, in INTI-UC, in Nilai, for 33 days. And the fact that I'd completely forgotten about it, if not for someone who mentioned it, surprised me. So, what have I done and learnt in my 33 days here?

Let's see. I managed to fall backwards vertically with the faith that my group members would catch me - which they did, without any injuries, thankfully. Phew. I learnt that even when things seem completely gloomy and not fun at all, you just gotta lighten up and try to get into the mood. Or you can just pretend, and soon enough it'd be real. Because, trust me, it took me a lot to have fun in my first few days here. My moving here was not a very hard task physically and I wasn't feeling homesick, but I was feeling rather detached. Anyway, I got over that and got into the mood of things and enjoyed the orientation, especially the last night when we got to perform our group cheer and our own version of the INTI song. :)

In my first week here, I learnt to sleep as early as 10 pm again (but that didn't last for long, apparently). I learnt to adjust to a new roommate who only gave in to her curiosity and asked me if I'm a Chinese a couple of days after we'd moved in here. I adjusted to having so much more space to myself. I learnt to use a common bathroom (okay, so I had to share with 4 other people, but when there are at least 10 other people waiting, it's a completely different story..) and to live without a microwave (now this is no easy feat) and fridge (another thing I thought I'd NEVER get used to!). I went to the pasar malam by bus for the first time. I boarded the KTM for the first time and alighted frustrated. I learnt that being at KL Sentral can be a scary thing because everyone pushes around like there's a riot. SCARY.

I watched the farewell videos my former hostelmates made for me more times than I can count. And I am still missing them. I learnt to make new friends. I learnt not to be envious when other people get to go home EVERY weekend and make me feel so lonely over the weekend (my neighbor went home yesterday and her dad was waiting for her in the pantry.. aih, wish that was me) but I managed to come to terms with it and realized that hey, staying here isn't too bad. I get some privacy, some me-time, and just time to chill.

I also managed to live without a washing machine and dryer. This is another challenge for me, especially in the beginning, because I'd already gotten so accustomed to doing my laundry every two to three days. I also learnt to live with the fact that I have to pay for every meal that I take. I have met interesting people, made some good friends, hung out with many people, for lunch, dinner, whatever. I've also had more banana moments that I'd had in the past half a year.

Well. What else can I say about my 33 days here? There hasn't been a day that I don't realize how lucky I am to be here. But there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought of home, that I haven't thought of McNair. Sometimes I wish so badly that I'm either in my own comfy bed at home or lying on the lumpy bed in Room 103 because I miss that sense of familiarity. Many a times, I catch a glimpse of a big bunch of people hanging out together, and I feel a twinge of yearning for that. Many a times, I look at my books and remind myself that I have to keep my fighting spirit strong. Sometimes I have to tell myself not to doubt, but to trust. Trust that it will all work out. Trust that I will get where I want to be.

So.. that's my 33 days, encapsulated in whatever I think stood out in those days. I've got 16 more days before stepping into my own home, and frankly, I'm anticipating it as much as I'd anticipated my first trip home from Singapore. I just wish that Kuching is as near to Nilai as KL is. But, well, sometimes we just gotta suck it up and live with it, huh? At least I get to fly back home for the breaks. I don't feel very homesick; I just want to be somewhere familiar.

I guess sometimes we just have to pep-talk ourselves through until we clear the hurdles ahead.

I'd been trying to remember the Bible verse on the wall of the CC in SA for quite a while now, and while I was flipping through the Bible just now, it suddenly struck me - Isaiah 40:31 - But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.

16 days. I shall wait patiently.