The one with the Guts

I cannot believe the nerve you possess.

Now you do this. Swell. Thank you very much. You just made me realize how flawed I am. Because even after all this time, I still cannot forget what you said. I don't care if you meant it lightly. It wasn't something you should've said regardless of the circumstances. It wasn't something you should say to anybody if you respect them. It was rude, insensitive, and unwelcome.

You know, I thought that all this is over. Finished. Long time ago. Because you were just a fleeting person who screwed things up where I didn't need any damages. I still cannot believe or rationalize why things happened the way they did but they happened anyway. And that sucked. Sucked like nothing else at that time. Why did it give you such a sense of achievement when you did all that? What hedonistic feeling did you get out of all that mess, huh?

Can I justify my anger? Yes. Is it right to? Probably not. But I am only human. And I'll 'fess up; I am capable of being angry just as everyone else is.

Why can't I just forgive and forget? It's been so long, but it hasn't gone away. All I did was shove it to the furthest corner in my mind and try to forget it. Because whatever memories I had prior to that ceased to matter. They don't matter because I don't want to care. I shoved them back there because they don't need to show, because they don't need to reappear. Ever.

I should've known better on my birthday.

(This is a personal rant. Thank you very much.)